Crunchy Brain-Mashing Zombie PB Cookies!

 

It's a cold and rainy Saturday in Zombie Land. Papers are graded, mid-term grades are posted, class website is updated... what to do with myself... I debated long and hard (well, not really) whether to walk on the treadmill, or bake some super-fattening but uber-delicious peanut butter cookies. It was a "really tough" decision ;)

I have a few Zombie twists to making easy, delicious, no-mixer needed, PB cookies that I thought would be worth sharing. I apologize to my overseas and out-of-country friends who are on the metric system. Hopefully you have those wonderful measuring cups with both standard and metric labels? At any rate, Enjoy!

Recipe: (yields 3 dozen)

-1 cup light brown sugar

-1 cup white granulated sugar

-1 stick butter (do NOT use margarine! Ewww!)

-1/2 cup shortening (for fluffiness)

-2 eggs (don't bother beating, just dump in bowl)

-1 1/4 cup CRUNCHY Peanut Butter 

-2 tsp. good vanilla

-3 cups flour

-1 tsp. baking soda, dissolved in 1 tbsp HOT water (important!)

Directions: 

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees

2. Grab 3 cookie sheets and cover with foil. Coat with non-stick spray.

3. Dump all ingredients in a bowl, in order provided. 

4. Stir for a while with a couple big spoons until you get bored. 

5. Wash your hands well.

6. Dig your hands into the mix and work it like a meatloaf, or a zombie mashing brains.

 

7. Once the cookie dough looks well-mixed, pour some granulated sugar in a bowl.

8. Grab a monster-sized fist of dough, and roll until smooth like a golf ball. 

9. Roll the ball in the sugar until coated. Set on tray, spacing balls about an inch apart.

 

10. Grab a fork. Press down slightly in two directions, forming cross-hatches. Depending on how much you trust your kids, they can help with this. Zombie child #2 tried  to help, but his freakishly strong wrists mashed the balls into smitherenes and I had to re-roll them.

 

11. Once spaced out (the cookies and/ or the Zombie), bake for 12-15 minutes. DO NOT OVERCOOK! Bottoms should barely be browned.

12. Commence annoying of kitties and other general silliness while you wait for cookies to come out of the oven.

13. Still waiting? Have a funny face contest.

14. STILL WAITING!?!?!?  (I know, my oven sucks too) Annoy the cat some more.

15. YES! THEY'RE FINALLY DONE! Move cookies immediately to paper towels or a baking rack to dry. 

16. Consume with milk.  This is required Crunchy Zombie PB cookie LAW. Violators WILL be prosecuted.