Are you smarter than your math teacher?

This is an interesting question that was imposed on me in an indirect fashion tonight at our student open house. Our textbook was opened to a random page, and a parent asked me to solve the problem, on the spot. I did, successfully, and the parent was satisfied. I am not sure how I feel about this. Should I be offended? 

The zombie part of my brain says, "Dude, you've been at work going on ten hours straight, and you want me to do calculations?" while the logical part of my brain says, "It's a parent's right to know whether the teacher knows the content well enough to push my student hard enough". But the bigger question is, does a teacher need to be able to solve random problems in the book on the spot, to be capable of teaching and challenging students effectively? According to the students themselves, the answer is NO.

This seems backwards, doesn't it? My G/T training this summer gave teachers a chance to brainstorm lists of our opinion of what makes an effective G/T teacher. We came up with a list pretty similar to the ones on the first list on the link below. It was a hand-out we were given that totally blew my mind.

http://resources.prufrock.com/GiftedChildInformationBlog/tabid/57/articleType/ArticleView/articleId/115/Default.aspx

Now that you've read what teachers think makes a good G/T teacher, read further down in the article to the student survey of what gifted students actually want from their teacher. The percentages astounded me.

50% of gifted students felt that it was most important for their teachers to make it fun, understand them as an individual, have a good sense of humor, and be cheerful in the classroom.

30% of gifted students felt it was important that their teacher was supportive and flexible.

Drumroll...

Only 5-10% of gifted students responded that it was important for their teacher to be an expert in their subject area or be able to explain the subject well. 

What!?!?!?

I am looking forward to testing these ideas out this fall with several students. I know I will make mistakes, and I encourage students to catch me making them by rewarding them with good behavior marbles. When we fill our marble jar, half an hour free time. Do they do anything productive or educational during free time? Rarely. Do they fill the jar quickly? Not really. It fills roughly every 3-5 weeks. Will they do just about anything to earn marbles? Yes! And they get so stinking excited about them too!

"Mrs. Bellm, you mixed up our names again!"  "Oops! Five marbles for each of you."

"Mrs. Bellm, that's the wrong answer. It should be ____." "Good catch! Ten marbles!"

"Mrs. Bellm, can I pick up scraps for marbles?" "Sure! 20 scraps = 5 marbles!"

"Mrs. Bellm, is the jar full yet? How many do we have left? When will we get game time?"

I pass them out at the beginning of the hour if the kids are prepared and on task.

I pass them out for reading aloud in class.

I give out extra marbles for really good answers.

I bribe them with twenty marbles for being SILENT in the halls between math labs.

I even offer five marbles a piece for extra boxes of Kleenex and hand sanitizer!

Oh, did I mention, I can take them back too? If they screw around, I just stand in front of the marble jar or dig my hand into the pile, and they all shut up. I grab a handful and start walking away from the jar and they all whine and look sad and contrite. If they are really really bad, I have dumped out an entire Care Bear mug's worth back into my starting bag, but that only happened once, ever. No shushing needed, they shush themselves!

So what does this have to do with gifted students? Well, a lot actually. They often are the restless, unfocused ones in the group, because they get it already. Sometimes they're the immature ones who act out trying to impress their friends with naughty behavior, or sneaky behavior, or big words. (or selling pop cans out of lockers) They are "above" what we are doing, and then act snotty or dismissive, because the rest of the class (including the teacher) are about five steps behind them on any given problem or project. Add these all up, and you get a big need for positive, proactive behavior management.

If gifted kids want their teacher to be funny and positive and flexible, that marries well to concrete or sarcastic (but not rude) behavior reminders. And I love sarcasm. Make 'em laugh, and then redirect them. Make a zombie comment, or just change the subject. And my favorite new reminder system that I found in a magazine, have some "duh!" sheets printed out that say things like "I know I need to bring a pencil and paper to class" or "I know I have to wait to go the bathroom until the end of the hour" or "I know I can't shred paper and pencils or gouge holes in the wall with a compass, or stick gum in a rainbow pattern all over the underside of my desk". And then if they decide to act out anyway, I'll give them one to sign. Next infraction, BOOM you gotz yerself a behavior ticket! (two more and you're at a detention and that is NOT a fun use of a Tuesday afternoon).

Now that we've removed every possible behavior problem forever (yeah right) I might be able to actually teach. Maybe. But I still need to prove to the parents that I can teach, even if their gifted kids don't really care one way or another. All I have to do is make it "fun" - bring on Bungie Barbie and her friends, Polynomial Ken (or maybe bi-nomial Ken would be a better name) and make them laugh a lot (show the 18 Wheels on a Big Rig song on the first day of class) and then get to know them individually by talking to them in the halls before class and not being in such a hurry to curtail off-topic conversations during class.

Am I smarter than a 7th grader? Possibly. Do I have more life experience than a 7th grader? Bucket loads. Do I have a higher IQ than most of the students in my class? Doubtful. But part of being a Zombie Teacher is that I couldn't care less what my students think of me; whether they think I dress weird, or said something stupid or got a problem wrong, or if I stumble around in either a frenzied or comatose zombie state. I will be entertaining just by being my clutzy self... I will be unpredictable because they'll never know which zombie will show up... and they will learn not only math smarts, but personal smarts by following my example.

"Know thyself!" -Plato

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller

And my favorite thing to do to make 'em laugh: put silly random Graph Jam graphs on every lesson!

Contraband sugar + lucrative locker sales= Zombie Student Attack

Bravo to the initiatives to rid schools of sugary snacks and beverages in vending machines. But kids these days are smart. Sort of. They may not have a clue how to pass their MCA's, but they've got this math problem down 110%.

Two 12-packs of Mountain Dew = $8.00

(max density supported by avg backpack)

Sell pop cans at $1.00 each = $24.00

(easier to deal in dollars, coins are too loud)

$24 sales - $8 goods = $16 profit each day!!!

I personally caught a student last year and busted him, not just once, but twice. First infraction, there was an overlarge paper bag being blatantly passed around to a group of boys, who were digging in their pockets for money RIGHT in front of me. Literally. All I said was, "Dude... really?" and they magically disappeared. Second infraction, the same student was selling the Mountain Dew out of his locker, with another crowd salivating around him, at least attempting to look sneaky this time. When said student was confronted by administration, he bragged that it was a highly lucrative enterprising opportunity, all the while admitting that he knew selling banned "substances" was probably against school policy.

I brought this up one night to a family friend in frustration. He laughed heartily, and then informed me that he'd caught one of his own son's friends buying soda to sell at schools, and had actually encouraged him! "Great idea son, way to smell a business opportunity and pounce on it." Sigh. What a good idea. Sell caffeinated, sugar-filled beverages to children who not only don't need the extra calories, but who can't concentrate in class as it is! Then chase it down with a hand-full of jalapeno Cheetos and a pixie stick.

Speaking of pixie sticks, want to know a new trend? This one made my jaw just about hit the floor. You can just hear the 13-yr old asking her mother, "Hey Mom, can I have a couple more of those Kool Aid singles for my sports water bottles?" Clueless mom says, "Of course honey, that's so responsible of you to remember to stay hydrated at soccer!" Little does she know, those pourable, portable sugar packs are being slurped down, sans water, before class, fun-dip lick'em-ade fashion. Let the sugar zombie fest begin.

So what can we do, you may ask? HYPER VIGILANCE! Do not become a zombie during hall duty. Get out and interact with kids. Watch the lockers like a hawk in the morning. Steal the pop and drink it yourself. Be a Big Brother Locker Attack Zombie! Attack the sugar! Allow only clear water bottles! Turn parents into backpack attack zombies before and after school to prevent the spread of the sugar pandemic! Show no mercy!!

Here's my biggest problem and easiest solution as a teacher/role model in their lives:

DON'T DRINK SODA IN FRONT OF THEM!

(or the even easier, but less honest one, pour it into your coffee mug :o)

Other good tips I have heard recently:

-Start a giant communal candy & gum jar for kids to spit it out when they arrive at class. Disgusting, probably not hygienic, sad, but really funny watching how fast it fills up in a rainbow of colors!

-Make the guilty student calculate the calories ingested from their treat of choice, and perform jumping jacks, sit-ups and push-ups in the back of the room until the amount is burned off

-Bring in enough for the whole class at their own expense

-From my high school physics teacher, bring in liquid nitrogen, and have students empty their lockers of all things sweet. Carefully place them in the liquid nitrogen with tongs for a few seconds; then remove, and attempt to ingest them. OUCH! FUNNY! Doesn't work very well!

And that's all I got. Send further suggestions. But only if they're ridiculous or funny enough to be zombie-approved.

Zombie apologies

I have a confession and an apology for my zombie followers.

The two travel mugs of coffee did not cure my zombie state this morning. We all laugh and sigh and complain about students on the first day back to school, and how tired and out of it they are, but look at US! We are no better. After staying up to watch "Up" with the kids, dinking around on the computer doing marketing junk until after midnight, and then waking up to skunky dog farts at 6:34 this morning, I was lucky to get to work only two minutes late. D'Oh! Already busted one of my New Year's resolutions.

Luckily I saved many zombie-approved tasks for the day, allowing me to listen to the Hunger Games sequel Catching Fire on my crackberry, including but not limited to:

-drawing pretty lines on the back whiteboard for new homework checklists and word walls

-staple pulling of my absolutely destroyed old word wall

-labeling of name sticks for calculator checkout
(i WILL not lose any this year, i WILL NOT lose any!!!)

-labeling of name sticks for random calling on students
(i WILL actually draw names after the first week!)

-labeling and sorting of file folder tabs for kids to have a dumping place

-filling out my brand new school planner book for 2011
(i WILL actually write down lessons, i WILL!)

-staring off into space at the beautiful straight rows of soybeans growing on the farm just past the building (I do this every year, it's calming and there are always new and odd things in the fields each day, like snow-mobilers, random dogs without their owners, and occasionally STUDENTS.)

I hereby pledge to be a crazy productive "chase you down the hall" kind of zombie tomorrow, not the half-dead, dragging one limp foot behind the other kind. So I am off to bed! Wish me luck!

New school year's resolutions

Tomorrow is officially my first day back to work.

Not that nearly a day has passed over the summer that I wasn't doing something work-related for an hour or two. But for the most part, my attitude this summer has been "I am going to do what I want, when I feel like it". I am hoping to carry this over through the school year.

In reality, I got just as much done this summer by doing things when I felt like doing them, as I did the year before, stressing about my checklist of things that I had to do at such or such a moment. The kitchen and living room got painted and redecorated, the bushes in the front yard got replaced with flowers and a patio, I organized and actually made money off a garage sale, I wrote and published a book, planted and pruned the garden, listed to the entire collection of Jane Austen's novels and all the Hunger Games books on Audible again... and still had time to do some real "work" every day! So the plan now, is how to carry this care-free attitude over into work life. Hence the resolutions for the new school year. Feel free to start taking bets on how many I can keep.

Resolution #1: STOP SENDING NOVEL-LENGTH EMAILS
I can save my rants and ramblings for this blog. No one at work has time to read or understand half of what I type and send into the digital world. If I can't say it in 1-2 paragraphs, I need to get off my lazy behind and either pick up the phone or walk to visit the person I want to talk to.

Resolution #2: GET TO WORK ON TIME
No more hitting the snooze ten times, doing my makeup in the car, showing up 5 minutes after my expected time and scrambling to make last-minute copies before the school day begins. Heck, while I'm being totally unrealistic, how about arriving 5 minutes EARLY!?!?

Resolution #3: NO MORE UNSOLICITED OVER-PLANNING
I am NOT the team lead. I am NOT an island. I do NOT need to make xcel spreadsheets with eight million tabs, with data sorted and analyzed in ten different ways. I do NOT need to have every decision made and all my planning and copying done two weeks ahead of time. The time has come to accept the fact that things will change day-to-day, and to actually work with my team as a team.

Resolution #4: DUCT TAPE MY MOUTH SHUT DURING MEETINGS
My opinion and/or approval is not needed on every little aspect of every minute of the school day. The school functioned just fine before I got hired there, and will continue to function just fine, should I happen to drop dead tomorrow. Yes I would probably be missed for a while, but I'd eventually be replaced with someone probably equally as talented.

Resolution #5: CURB THE NEGATIVITY
I tried this last year and failed miserably. I hope that I am in a better place now. No one wants to hear my rants, complaining and sarcasm. Well, maybe the sarcasm... let's go with one obnoxious comment per hour. I'll start a checklist on a clip-board and put smiley faces when I stick to my goal :o)

Resolution #6: CORRECTING DOES NOT NEED TO BE DONE IN A DAY
It took God seven days to create the world, and no one was bugging him for status reports. If I program my students and parents to expect my portal and website to be updated on a daily basis, I'm going to be up until midnight every night. Oh wait, I am anyway. Maybe it can be doing something with my late nights instead of work this year. Like blogging!

Resolution #7: NO WORKING ON THE WEEKEND
This is going to be a tough one, but with more prep time and only one subject (math) to teach, it might just be doable. I am just waiting for my kids to go to pre-school and start drawing pictures of Mommy glued to the computer (as I am right now). It's not good for them, my eyes, my marriage, or my knees. (I am addicted to sitting cross-legged in my desk chair whenever I'm working.)

And on that note, I think it's time to sign off. Here's hoping I can stick to it! If any readers have additional resolutions for me to add, I promise I won't get offended. Comment away.

Bungee Barbie! and CCSS : My rebuttal

I recently came across this disturbing article by Kathleen Porter-Magee:

Common Core + Bungee Jumping Barbie = Epic Fail

I had just finished reading about the Bungee Barbie experiment in my NEA magazine, and couldn't wait to try it out in my classroom. It aligns with our standards, is research-based and endorsed by NCTM, and above all, is hilariously funny! Check out these sample links for yourself.

http://illuminations.nctm.org/LessonDetail.aspx?id=L646

http://www.themathlab.com/Algebra/linear%20functions%20regressions%20slope/regression%20lessons/barbie%20bungee/barbbungee.htm

So after reading Kathleen's uninformed dismissal of Barbie as an "Epic Fail", (I can just see her bawling her eyes out in the cardboard box in the back of Andy's Mom's car in Toy Story) I just couldn't help but write a rebuttal. So go ahead, read her article, and then my response posted at the bottom of her blog. (also listed here). Weigh in on it, tell me what you think!

(begin response)
Mandy Bellm

Posted August 27, 2011 at 3:08 PM

Kathleen,
I find it pretty insulting to list “Bungee Barbie” in the title, followed by “Epic Fail” if you don’t take the time to research and understand the math behind it. The Common Core Standards are a necessary step forward for the USA, standardizing expectations across states so that all students are held to the same standards. Many of the states that quickly signed onto CCSS were able to do so because the standards and benchmarks were actually below what they already require of their students. I teach in Minnesota, and that is for sure the case here with our new 2007 standards. And isn’t that the goal of education? To not only meet the standards, but to surpass them?

Looking around the globe at top-performing nations in mathematics, Finland and Singapore (and even Canada) surpass the USA and have common core standards that focus on higher-order thinking skills and problem-solving in realistic situations. While I agree with you that some drill and practice, and some summary tasks are needed, they cannot be the bulk of instruction time. The Bungee Barbie experiment is not meant to teach slope or linear regression in and of itself. The big idea, or essential skill, is to look for patterns in the distance that barbie falls, compared to the number of rubber bands tied to her feet, and to use that information to predict much larger scales of bungee drops than could ever be simulated in the classroom.

NCTM’s Illuminations website has the entire lesson planned out for you. It’s not hard to follow. Check out the link below.

http://illuminations.nctm.org/LessonDetail.aspx?id=L646

The explicit skills to be taught by the experiment are highly valuable for a number of careers and are expressed in the standards as well. Designing, conducting, reporting and analyzing data from an experiment are critical skills. Accuracy of measurement leads to discussions of multiple trials and central tendency. Data collection and reporting builds fundamental graphing skills and a firm understanding of independent and dependent variables. Analysis of the data for a best fit line leads to deeper understanding of slope and linear relationships because students can visualize exactly how the number of rubber bands affects the distance barbie can fall without hitting her head on the ground. And lastly, students achieve an enormous sense of accomplishment when they can use the information to make predictions, and then test and confirm their results. You can bet they will have their iPhones and Android video recorders out on the day they chuck Barbie off the school balcony, because they sense that it is something big and meaningful. And they will remember it for the rest of their lives. How often does that happen in school anymore?

Now obviously any decent teacher is going to teach foundational skills either before or in concordance with an experiment of this magnitude. A very firm understanding of the goals and objectives and learning outcomes is needed so that it doesn’t turn into, as you call it, “throwing Barbies around the room”. And THIS is the big item that sets the USA apart from Singapore and Finland. We go around and around with what we should teach, and when we should teach it, and change our minds and change our minds again, but teachers need time to plan and test and work with their teams to adopt well-paced, focused and meaningful curriculum. Finland teachers have nearly half of their teaching day set aside for planning effective instruction, and mentor support for improving their skills throughout their career (not just in the first 1-3 years). Students are graded on the progress they make against their OWN prior knowledge, not against that of their peers.

The current testing atmosphere in the USA is quite a bit like running a race. Very few students come out as "winners". I’m sure all of us adults would love to enter a marathon and have our finishing times published and compared with the rest of the field, based on some predetermined groups such as our age or socioeconomic background or race or gender. And, by the way, no consideration is given at all to our physical health or athleticism, nor what training resources and time we had, or where we lived, or if we had a family that supported us emotionally and economically through the whole process. But that's not how it works. We gauge our success in the race on if we beat our time goal, or came in a certain place, based on realistic expectations. Somehow we forget that with kids. And how awful it must make them feel when they fail over and over and over again.

The powers that be need to make up their minds, and quickly, about what education in the USA will mean for future generations. This focus on high-stakes testing MUST be re-purposed into a tool for meaningful improvement. NOT punishment. Whether or not the current state standards, or the new CCSS, or some other listed of standardized benchmarks are used, the mindset behind their use is going to determine whether they are successful. And lay off Barbie, please! Look at the laughs Barbie and Ken got in the Toy Story series. Teens of this generation will laugh and learn and retain much more about linear regression from Bungee Barbie they ever did the antiquated “bouncing ball” version of the same experiment. I will personally post the pictures on my blog in a few months after my accelerated math class knocks this one out of the park. (end response)