What Math Zombie wants for Christmas

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to my readers all over the world! My apologies for not having posted more. I've been sick twice in three weeks (still sick now) am currently buried under a mountain of correcting papers, Christmas cards, presents to wrap and goodies to bake if/when I ever feel better. So instead of starting on this list, what am I doing? Making a new list! A Christmas wish list! For MEEEEEEE! 

First, I would like more tablets! Yes, I'm most likely getting an iPad to use in my classroom, but I want MORE! One for each of my kids. And my husband. And one for each of my students. NOW. They can do and are doing SO much with them. See above. Education, entertainment, babysitting! Everyone wins. 

Next, I would like a correcting fairy who magically shows up and either does my correcting for me, or knocks me out while I go through this tedious process, and wakes me up when the results are ready. I loooooooooove planning, and moderately love prepping/making Smart lessons... and I do love teaching on most days... and I love analyzing the results of correcting, but I absolutely loathe the tedium of correcting itself. 

Third, I would like a spell cast over my room that automatically detects students' lies and makes their noses grow like Pinocchio. No more "I don't get it" or "I had sports all night" or "I left it on the counter" or "I didn't steal her pencil!" or "I didn't draw that on my desk! I found it like this! and worst of all, "Sure I'll study and get caught up on my homework tonight!" and then NOTHING is done. I would seriously like to know... are there teachers out there who have some trick I don't know, for getting kids to do their homework? Seriously... like 10-20% daily don't have it done. And it's not a lot. Maybe 15-20 minutes of reading and note-taking. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Fourth, I want one of those time-turners that Hermione has in Harry Potter and the Prizoner of Azkaban. So I can curl up into a ball after work and take a two-hour nap without disturbing anybody or affecting anything. Or maybe can I get an energy sucker device that calms my children down and gives me even half of their surplus in the evenings? 

Fifth, I'd like to trade my stinky farting Boston Terrier in for Grumpy Cat, aka Tartar Sauce so I too, can get rich off taking hilarious pictures of my ever-frowning fur ball. What does my dog do for me? Other than fart continuously, eat ear plugs, slobber on the furniture, and bark at anything that walks by outside? 

Meanwhile, Grumpy Cat is stinking adorable even when she is crabby. How fun must it be to dress her (I'm assuming it's a her?) and take pictures of her being cute so people can make Memes and shirts and posters out of her? I tried to give credit to the owner of this adorable picture, but it redirected me to some non-functional blog. So I'll just send you to the owner's site if you want more information on this lovely meow meow.

Sixth, I'd love for this trend of increased book sales that is somehow related to Pinterest posting to continue! The teacher edition is on sale for $13.49 and the student edition is listed at $7.99. And don't forget that you can buy various chapters and products on my Teachers pay Teachers site! It's all about networking and I hate to say, I'm finding way more helpful school information on Pinterest boards than I ever did reading through posts on LinkedIn. Sorry to all you "professional networkers" out there. So, once again, here is the link to my Zombie Math Teacher Pinterest board! 

I will soon be uploading a separate Zombie Graph Art board that has student-colored pictures of all the graph art pictures from my book. Stay tuned...